Today, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This is my first October 15th being part of the “club” of parents who have lost a child. This day used to be like any other to me, and now, it is heavily weighted with significance.
In 1988, President Ronald Reagan named October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. He went on to say, “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.”
How true. There is no title given to parents who have lost a child that honors the completely soul crushing, earth shattering experience of losing a child. Instead we are left navigating this new and strange world without a roadmap and, many times, feeling that we need to fight for our child’s significance.
I am blessed that my community has allowed me to very publicly share my journey and they have met my vulnerability with love and compassion. There are others in this “club” whom I have met that do not have that support. They tell stories of being ostracized from their families and communities and/or of having to push their grief away and hide it so that they can still function in the world. This is not okay.
Today, and the month of October, give voice to these families to share their love for their babies that are gone way too soon.
I have spent most of the morning in tears and I honestly couldn’t tell you why, but, that is okay. Today, we have permission. Today, people who feel they have to hide their grief get to share it with the world. Today, we get join in with parents all over the world to honor and remember our children in any way that feels authentic.
Tonight at 7pm, people will be lighting candles in remembrance of babies taken too soon. If you are unable to light a candle at 7pm your time, please send love or prayers or positive energy (whatever feels authentic to you) to the babies and their loved ones in grief. Help us honor our angels.